Neli@Rennes-2

Complaint Menus

2010-04-11T04:06:00.000-07:00

Complaining being the French national sport, one smart ESL colleague of mine decided to combine the pleasant and the practical and create an exercise around complaining! It goes something like this:

Several sheets of different categories are being passed around. Each student writes something he or she finds particularly annoying about the people on the sheet.

Please enjoy this screamingly funny selection. Thank you Sonja, I have been laughing since Thursday!

Restaurants Complaint Menu:

Restaurant is most expensive.

WC’s restaurant are not clean.

The employees are not enough sympathic.

The meals is too little.

The servers are wearing like playmobil.

The serveurs more smill.

We can’t smoke in.

Barmeat is beautifull.

Boss Complaint Menu :

He does not give me an explication about this job.

He screams every time.

He does anything.

He drink so much coffee so he is very exciting.

He doesn’t want to give more money.

He is so autoritary.

He lies everyday.

He asks us to do his job at his place.

He does not like lazyman.

And the winner is … He likes make love with secretarian girl.

Other People’s Children Complaint Menu:

Children smell bad.

Children cry.

Children is scream.

Children run everywhere.

Expansive.

Children could sick and listen bad music.

Parent Complaint Menu:

My parents are dead.

My parents ask me all the time, where I am. (Excellent use of punctuation here!)

My parents scream everyday.

They are broken.

They have no money for me for permit to buy drinks.

Bottom line: They sucks!

Boyfriend / Girlfriend Complaint Menu:

She doesn’t like when talk about her weight.

My girlfriend don’t want me to call another girl.

My girlfriend like my creditcards.

My girlfriend is histeric crazy.

My girlfriend is a boy.

And the winner is … My girlfriend make me sleep in front of entry door!

On What Tiger Woods was looking for

2010-02-13T05:40:00.000-08:00

Once again, we are doing ON The News in Prise de Parole. The assignment was finding a piece of news from the English-speaking world and prepare a newscast around it. Most of the news were serious, but we got to talking about the Tiger Woods Affair. So how can we summarize what's been going on? "Iz luking for a new 'ol". Who says you can't have a sense of humor in a language you don't speak fluently?

What are TV commercials good for

2010-02-10T02:49:00.000-08:00

Debate Presentations well under way, I have been more and more pleased with the Licence 2 debates. With each passing week, the presentations appear better and better structured, well thought- out, accompanied by plenty of details and *grrr* statistic. Good job you guys! Can't help but include my favorite *argument* to date. The person defending TV commercials pointed out that they were indispensable to a great movie-watching experience because they give you enough time to go to the bathroom! I think that's something we can all agree with! Keep those arguments coming!

STAPS Bend it Like Beckham Character Descriptions

2010-02-09T06:58:00.001-08:00

Here are some excellent adjectives you can use in your

Character Descriptions!

emotional proud strong attractive nosy exacting vindictive curious talented sensitive honest passionate innocent jealous feminine perfectionist manly hard-working

funny compassionate loyal opinionated honest strict handsome snobbish fair respectful traditional mature religious patient young wise caring rich

realistic middle class serious beautiful intelligent flirtatious discreet gentle genuine generous nice respectful shy kind

Art History Adjectives Galore

2010-02-08T14:38:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the adjectives we came up with in class today! Feel free to use them for the Midterm in your descriptions of the characters from the movie!

emotional proud strong attractive drunkard cruel arrogant moral spoiled ugly extravagant nosy exacting vindictive condescending wasteful curious talented sensitive (dis)honest rude generous belligerent passionate innocent observant jealous ignorant (of) feminine perfectionist devious aggressive insensitive manly hard-working illiterate hysterical informal compassionate loyal lecherous loud opinionated honest parsimonious evil obnoxious strict stingy handsome snobbish fair avaricious (dis)respectful (im)mature religious (un)faithful (im)patient violent young wise rich promiscuous powerful ruthless naive realistic poor boastful proper serious beautiful intelligent flirtatious manipulative selfish egotistical vulgar discreet childish gentle genuine generous nasty nice scrupulous scary shy kind introverted

STAPS Bend It Like Beckham Discussion Questions

2010-02-07T08:24:00.000-08:00

Bend It Like Beckham Discussion Questions:

The Questions will likewise be a part of your Midterm Exam!

Trivia

What clothing item does Paula (Jules’ mom) try to get Jules to buy at the beginning of the film?
Why was Pinki's wedding originally cancelled?
Where do Jess and Joe kiss for the first time?
What is Tony’s secret?
What game is Joe playing at the end of the movie?
What does Jules mother give her in the end?
What does Jess’ father do for a living?
What sport did Jess’ father play?
What is the religion of Jess’ family?
What is particular about the match between Pinki and her husband?

Descriptive questions:

Describe the following characters from the movie:

Jess
Jules
Joe
Jess’ mother
Jess’ father
Jules’ mother
Jules’ father
Jess’ sister, Pinki
Tony

Why does Jess refuse to play soccer in shorts? Describe the incident!
How does Joe get Jess to stop being ashamed of her knee?
Describe the relationship Joe has with his father.
Describe ways in which the following relationships evolve:

Jess and Jules
Jess and her family
Jules and her family
Joe and his father

Why does Jess’ father let her leave the wedding and go play?
Prejudice seems to play an important role in the movie. Describe some of the ways in which it is played out!
Which part of the United States did the talent scout come from? What does he offer the two girls? Why do Jess’ parents finally agree to let her go?

Art History Girl with a Pearl Earring Movie Questions

2010-02-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

Find below the questions for our discussion of the film on Monday, Feb 8, 2010!

Those will likewise be a part of your Midterm Exam on Feb 15th!

List the chores that Griet must perform.
Find ten adjectives or verbs which describe the following characters:
1. Johannes Vermeer
2. Griet
3. Grandmother (Maria Thins)
4. Cornelia
5. Van Ruijven (Patron)
6. Pieter
7. Catherina Vermeer (Wife)

Describe the city of Delft.
Describe daily life in the Vermeer household.
Money seems to be a recurring theme throught the movie. Give examples of this.
How is social class reflected in the characters' clothing?
Provide details of Griet's increasing responsibility in the Vermeer household.
What can we say about the status of women in the movie?
What is Vermeer's process of painting as illustrated by the first painting he was working on?
Observing others, without their knowledge, seems to be a recurring theme. What is the significance of this?
What is the importance of colour in the movie?
What is the importance of patronage for Vermeer?
Describe the incident regarding the tortoiseshell comb.
What is the relationship between Vermeer and his wife. How does that evolve?
Do you think that Vermeer truly cared about Griet? Give specific examples for your answer.

Trivia Questions (Questions about DETAILS)

What does Maria Thins compare Griet to? Discuss the importance of this comparison.
What does public transport consist of in Delft?
What gift does Griet receive at the end?
What is the incident which causes Pieter to first notice Griet?
As Griet and Pieter are taking a walk, what does he wish her to do for him?
What memento does Griet bring from her home?
Why does Griet have to go to work?
What is the first confrontation which occurs between Griet and Cornelia?
What is the main reason why Catherine considers Griet incapable of understanding art?
What location does Griet change rooms to?
What does Griet change in one of Vermeer's paintings? Why does she do this?
List the things which Cornelia does to make Griet's life difficult.
What is the first image we get of the meat market?
Why does Griet not need to go to the fish market?
What instrument plays the music motif?

Oral Presentations Evaluation Sheet: Art History / STAPS

2010-01-26T05:09:00.000-08:00

As you know, in Weeks 7 and 8 you will be presenting in class. Below is a copy of the sheet I will be using while grading your presentation (worth 20% of your final grade).

Have fun preparing the presentations! I am looking forward to hearing them! Don't forget to get in touch if you have any questions or difficulties!

1. Organization 1 point max
a. logic and structure
b. variety and appropriateness of facts and details
2. Language Level 1.5 max
a. pronunciation .
b. lexical and structural variety
c. phrasing and grammar
3. Quality of the Presentation / Public Speaking Skills .75 points max
a. fluidity of the speech
b. eye contact
c. clarity of expression
4. Overall Effort and Originality .75 points max
a. presentation has been rehearsed
b. extra materials and effort
TOTAL 4 points max

WHY ME?? L1 Prise de Parole Semester 1 grades explained

2010-01-22T03:45:00.000-08:00

Below are the grades I gave in S1 for prise de parole, as well as (some) of the reasons why! Bear in mind I have not included the # of absences, which also impact the grade negatively!

Let there be no regrets ... just lessons learned!

grade Comments
2 very little understanding of spoken E, no effort to participate, struggles a great deal; heavy French accent; no effort; inability to read text
2.5 very little understanding of spoken E, no effort to participate, struggles a great deal; heavy French accent; no effort; inability to read text, spoke much French throughout the semester
3 did not appear interested in the class in the least, constant disruptive behavior, spoke a great deal in French and practically spent the hour with her back turned to me. Terrible attitude and poor presentation.
3 does not seem to pay attention and/or comprehend whatever is being said in class; has not made a single voluntary contribution thoughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved
3 has not made a single voluntary contribution thoughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved; LL high beginner, heavy F accent, spoke a great deal of French
3 Stopped coming after Week 5, had been doing a great job previously; showed up on the last day of class and proceeded to do her song analysis even though the day was already passed and she had obtained no permission to do so EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTING
4 has not made a single voluntary contribution throughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved
4 painfully shy; has not made a single voluntary contribution throughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved; excellent song analysis and song choice, but insufficient for a higher grade
4.5 has not made a single voluntary contribution throughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved, fair presentation
5 terrible attitude, poor attendance, but a fair NEWS presentation
6 seems to have a reasonably good grasp of the E language, always understands and responds correctly whenever spoken to, has not volunteered any; attitude and unprepared for song presentation; does not seem to take class seriously even though she is very pleasant whenever she feels like talking
7 answers well when asked, never volunteers, intelligent, amazingly broad general knowledge, did not take class seriously, forgot presentation on the last day and was forced to improvise
7 does not volunteer, but always alert and pleasant; seems to understand a great deal of what is being said in class and answers well and thoroughly whenever spoken to, does not seem to have a poor LL even though she does not talk much, grade higher b/c of attitude and perfect attendance
7 has not made a single voluntary contribution throughout the semester, answers in very short sentences when asked a question, demonstrates no desire to volunteer or be involved, yet does a great job when assigned a project
7 shy, English fair; not making too much of an effort, fair song presentation, fair NEWS presentation
7.5 answers well when asked, never volunteers, good understanding of spoken English; no desire to talk; no effort; had to reschedule presentation b/c not ready, excellent presentation on the NEWS which somewhat saved her grade
7.5 shy, talks well and at length when asked, but never volunteers; however, deserves a slightly better grade due to an excellent team presentation in NEWS
7.5 started off extremely well, very involved and daily participation, volunteering; attendance dropped in the latter half of the semester and the grade suffered as a consequence
8 shy, but genuinely started making more of an effort towards the end, language very good but insufficient participation
8 one of the better E speakers among all students, but very inconsiderate; spoke in French considerably more than others, disruptive in class; LL intermediate, no problem understanding and answering questions when asked but NO effort to speak in class, extremely immature
9 volunteers considerably more than the majority of the class, still insufficiently to pass the course, reasonably good NEWS and song analysis; it's a pity she has not been taking the class seriously
10 shy, started making more of an effort towards the end, language very good but participation could be better, still a good student overall
11 Even though she is shy, she did her best to talk and participate in class. Respectful and hard working!
11 quite a few absences; positive contribution to class discussion whenever present; volunteers in class LL OK overall, really improved towards the second half of the semester!
11.5 volunteers, respectful, makes an effort, very pleasant and well-intentioned, LL also fairly good, volunteered to present on the first day and did a great job
12 joined the class later (hence the absences), great song analysis of an extremely unusual song, considerate; great work ethic; volunteered often and extremely involved
12 many absences; not shy; intervenes a lot when present, English mediocre, but not hard to understand when he talks, many mistakes but not bad overall, forgot song on the day of the presentation
13 somewhat shy but nonetheless polite, talkative, extremely involved, volunteers, respectful, makes an effort, very pleasant and well-intentioned, LL intermediate; excellent song analysis
13.5 Polite, talkative, extremely involved, volunteers, respectful, makes an effort, very pleasant and well-intentioned, LL high intermediate, one of the top students in the class
14 remarkable work ethic and a great student; even if fairly shy, but original, involved, not afraid to take risks
14.5 great attitude, took the class seriously and attempted to volunteer at every opportunity, spoke a great deal more than the rest, LL high intermediate, few mistakes, very determined, pleasant and motivated,
15 added the course later; best student in all of L1; considerate, polite, involved; constant volunteer, leader in class, excellent participation and a great presentation, LL high intermediate. one of the best L1 students this semester.
20 native speaker, deserves the top mark not because of her LL which she did not learn like the others but for her pleasant; considerate attitude; always animated, willing to talk and extremely tactful and respectful towards the others

A picture is worth a thousand words

2010-01-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

And I mean the one I asked you to submit last week, you guys.

I have close to 300 students. Learning the names at the beginning of the semester is a tremendous challenge. Remembering who is who at the end of the semester (when those extra points for effort really count) is tough. And a lot of you could REALLY benefit from me remembering you.

Out of all the students I asked for a picture, roughly 1/3 gave me one. It could have been anything, really - even a black and white copy of a real picture. 2/3 did not bother.

Call it a cultural difference if you will, but this picture situation is quite exasperating. Whenever I ask students to do something and give them a week, it never occurs to me that it would not get done. I do not walk into class thinking, would they have remembered? I walk into a classroom, three-hole puncher in hand, ready to file the attendance sheet - last and first name, day and class time + picture.

Which brings me to my next point. Not completing an assignment you have been given talks about your attitude and the level of commitment to the class you are taking. And poor attitude is ... well, we went over that in class and illustrated it with specific examples, I don't want to repeat myself.

The one thing I would repeat though is the exact thing I said whenever I distributed the attendance sheets in Week 1. Without an attendance sheet, I would not mark you as present.

And I didn't.

L2 Debating Schedule

2010-01-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't written everything down, here is the debating schedule for Wednesdays!

Jan 27, 2010
Internet dating - looney or practical?
Charles-Hubert(+) / Justine (-)
Homosexual couples should not be given the right to adopt children.
Maude (+) / Lise (-)

Feb 3, 2010
Organic food is just another fad designed to make people spend money.
Louisa (+) / Lola (-)
Should students have a part-time job while studying if they need money?
Louis-Adrian (+) / Vivien (-)

Feb 10, 2010
Advertising is manipulative and a waste of time
Lise (+) / Louisa (-)
The institution of marriage and the nuclear family - a thing of the past?
Alexia (+) / Manon (-)

Feb 17, 2010
If men have the right to become fathers at 60, why should women be refused?
Charles-Hubert(+) / Justine (-)
Should French universities be more selective in their admissions policy?
Manon (+) / Alexia (-)

March 3, 2010
Facebook - a great idea for socializing or an invasion of privacy?
Lola (+) / Lise (-)
Euthanasia - mercy or murder?
Alexia (+) / Heloise (-)

March 10, 2010
The smoking ban is a mistake and it limits the freedom of one social group.
Justine (+) / Charles-Hubert(-)
If university education represented a financial sacrifice, students would be a lot more motivated and would benefit more from the time they spend there
Maude (+) / Louisa (-)

March 17, 2010
The negative aspects of fast food are grossly overrated
Louis-Adrian (+) / Vivien (-)
France has not done enogh to integrate immigrants into its society.
Louis-Adrian (-) / Vivien (+)

L1 Prise de Parole Assignment, Week 3

2010-01-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

As we said in class, in Week 3, we will be discussing a Preventive Ad (Publicité de prévention). Please bring one to your respective classes! Examples include, but are not limited to

smoking
drinking
binge drinking
drug abuse
teenage pregnancy
AIDS/HIV, STDs

Looking forward to a great discussion!

STAPS Syllabus, Spring 2010

2010-01-19T05:34:00.000-08:00

Course Description The course content has been designed in order to teach students essential vocabulary and communication skills necessary for a career in sports. The course aims at developing oral and reading comprehension of sports-related texts, fundamental translation skills and basic oral expression. All lesson units are centered around a particular topic, and introduce and drill vocabulary and expressions characteristic of it.

Course Materials Course Materials will be distributed at the beginning of each class. In the case of an absence, the students will be responsible for making their own copies of the handouts.

Grading The Final Grade in the class will be calculated as follows

Midterm Exam (taken in-class in Week 6): 20%
Oral Presentation (in class, Week 7 or 8): 20%
In-class participation: 20%
2 Quizzes (unannounced): 10%
Final Exam (Week 11): 30%

Attendance and Participation Students are expected to come on time, complete assigned pre-class reading (where appropriate) and participate actively during class-time. Failure to respect the working environment and contribute to the lesson will negatively impact the overall participation grade. Scheduled exams and presentations may not be postponed or re-taken unless the student was prevented from attending by a family emergency or a serious medical problem (both to be justified appropriately).

Below is a tentative Syllabus for the Spring Semester. Each Unit will include a listening comprehension activity, followed by a text + a variety of vocabulary-building and translation exercises, as well as an oral discussion of important information. Please note that this syllabus is subject to change.

Week 1, January 12/13, 2010 General Introduction(s): The students, the teacher, the course; Asking Questions
Week 2, January 19/20, 2010 Unit Topic: South Africa 2010 / Song Analysis
Week 3, January 26-27, 2010 Unit Topic: Water Sports / The Human Body Cont’d
Week 4, February 2/3, 2010 Film: Bend It Like Beckham
Week 5, February 9/10, 2010 Film: Bend It Like Beckham Discussion
Midterm Exam Review
Week 6, February 16/17, 2010 Midterm Exam
Week 7, March 2/3, 2010 Sports Hall of Fame # 1
Week 8, March 9/10, 2010 Sports Hall of Fame # 2
Week 9, March 16/17, 2010 Unit Topic: Eating Right
Week 10, March 23/24, 2010 Unit Topic: Sport and Entertainment: The WWE
Week 11, March 30/31, 2010 FINAL EXAM
Week 12, April 6/7, 2010 Final Exam Correction and Last Day of Classes

Licence d'anglais, HELPFUL EXPRESSIONS, Part 2

2010-01-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

USEFUL EXPRESSIONS FOR STARTING AND CONDUCTING A DEBATE / DISCUSSION

Asking for clarification of a point
Could you please explain exactly what you meant by ...
I didn’t quite follow your meaning when you said ‘…’.
Could you clarify your point, please?
Could you elaborate on your idea about …
Giving clarification
Well, what I was trying to say / explain was…
Yes, of course – to sum up, the point was…
Yes, the idea I was trying to put across was…
Asking for an opinion
What do you think about…?
Could you tell us how you feel about…?
Would you agree that…?
Do you think it is fair to say that…?
Giving an opinion
Well, frankly I believe that’s…
My personal feeling is…
I can see the point, but I’m afraid I can’t entirely agree with that statement as…
In a nutshell, I think that…
Expressing agreement
Yes, that’s a very interesting point that you’re making…
Yes, I find your argument extremely convincing.
I couldn’t agree more!
Yes, absolutely!
Expressing disagreement
Well, I’m afraid I find that remark entirely misguided.
Well, I must say that I’m not at all convinced by your argument!
There’s perhaps some truth in what you say, but I think you can’t deny that…
Expressing doubts
I agree on the whole with what you’re saying, but…
That’s as may be, but…
That’s all very well, but…
I’m afraid I don’t find your argument totally convincing – don’t you think that…
I’m afraid I have difficulty accepting that point of view.
Dealing with doubts and objections
Oh, but I can honestly assure that…
Well, maybe if we look at it another way…
Perhaps you are forgetting that…?
The idea may seem difficult / controversial at first glance, but if we consider that…
Yes, you have a point, but I think if you come back to the facts / statistics / data, you will agree that…

Courtesy of Professor Anna Hellier, thank you very much!

Licence d'anglais: Oral Presentations, HELPFUL EXPRESSIONS

2010-01-19T05:12:00.000-08:00

Attention Licence students! Here are some useful expressions for your presentation!

USEFUL EXPRESSIONS AND VOCABULARY FOR A TALK

Introducing a point with authority

It seems quite clear that…

There can be no doubt that…

I am (absolutely) convinced that… and I shall set out to prove my point to you.

I sincerely believe that…

The most important point I wish to make is that…

My first point is…

First, I’d like to focus on…

To start with, I’d like to draw your attention to…

I intend to demonstrate that…

In the course of this talk / presentation, we shall see that…

There are two/three main arguments supporting my position…

In fact the subject is not clear-cut, but the two main positions are as follows:

Some people would have us believe that…, however it is quite clear that that view is misguided and that…

Stressing or underlining the importance of a point

I would like to stress that…

I ought to point out that…

The central problem is …

The principle argument is…

And here, I would like to underline the importance of this point…

Transitions (winding up and moving on)

Let me recap briefly on the main points here…

So what I’ve been concentrating on here essentially is…

In other words,…

In a nutshell, what it amounts to is this…

To sum up what I’ve been focussing on so far is…

Let me leave you with a final thought on this point…

And now let’s turn out attention to…

Now I / we shall move on to…

The next point to consider is…

In a similar way,…

Concluding

And that brings us to the end of the discussion,…

Perhaps I could conclude by saying…

What it all boils down to essentially is this:

So I leave you to ask yourselves whether…

And here is a final thought for you to consider…

Art History, A Day @ the Museum: Oral Presentation Guidelines

2010-01-19T04:56:00.000-08:00

Oral Presentation: “A Day at the Museum”

Students are expected to choose a painting from the list of world masterpieces (available in-class in Week 1, 2 and 3), and act as museum docents (guides) while introducing it to the class. Students are expected to conduct research and “teach” their chosen masterpiece in front of the class in Week 7 or 8. Below are the guidelines of the presentation:

In your oral presentation, you will be expected to provide information about

the artist
the artistic movement the painting belongs to
the specific time period
a detailed physical description of the masterpiece
an analysis of its meaning and significance
any other relevant information

You may bring an outline of your presentation, however, you will not be allowed to read from a text you have written in advance.
You will be expected to talk for a minimum of 5 minutes. Longer presentations are welcome.
You will be graded on clarity, originality and thoroughness. An evaluation sheet will be distributed in-class Week 5.

The presentations will be organized according to the chronological order of the masterpieces.

Deadline to sign up for a presentation: January 25th, 2010.

Art History Syllabus, Spring 2010

2010-01-19T04:36:00.000-08:00

Course Description The course content has been designed in order to help future art historians acquire essential vocabulary and communication skills necessary for their profession. The course aims at developing oral and reading comprehension of art-related texts, fundamental translation skills and basic oral expression. All lesson units are centered around a particular field of art history, and introduce and drill vocabulary and expressions characteristic of it.

Grading The Final Grade in the class will be calculated as follows

Midterm Exam (taken in-class in Week 6): 25%
Oral Presentation (in class, Week 7 or 8): 20%
In-class participation: 20%
Final Exam (Week 13): 35%

Below is a tentative Syllabus for the Spring Semester. Each Unit will include a listening comprehension activity, followed by a text + a variety of vocabulary-building and translation exercises, as well as an oral discussion of important information. Please note that this syllabus is subject to change.

Week 1, January 11, 2010 General Introduction(s): The students, the teacher, the course

Week 2, January 18, 2010 Unit Topic: Architecture

Week 3, January 25, 2010 Unit Topic: Installation Art

Week 4, February 1, 2010 Film: The Girl with the Pearl Earring

Week 5, February 8, 2010 Film: The Girl with the Pearl Earring Discussion, Midterm Exam Review

Week 6, February 15, 2010 Midterm Exam

Week 7, March 1, 2010 A Day at the Museum (Oral Pres) # 1

Week 8, March 8, 2010 A Day at the Museum (Oral Pres) # 2

Week 9, March 15, 2010 Unit Topic: Photography

Week 10, March 22, 2010 Unit Topic: Archaeology

Week 11, March 29, 2010 Catching-up and Final Exam Review

Week 12, April 5, 2010 off – Easter Holidays

Week 13, April 12, 2010 FINAL EXAM

Say what??

2010-01-19T04:18:00.000-08:00

Following a tradition my brother and I started on the train going home to and from Sofia (last century), I have been collecting funny / bizarre / outrageous things I hear people say for years. Every once in a while, I’ll come up with a Top 10 (hey Midd kinds, remember “Do we take it easy, or do we take it as usual?”).

This time, I am modifying the Top 10 to reflect my experience of someone living in France and teaching English at the “fac”. Some of the statements have been reported to me by other people, but in any event, they are all hilarious. I’d like to dedicate this collection to my flat mates as well as my lovely fellow-lecturers!

10. The word “development” (as well as to develop, development, developing) which did all of Licence 3 in. Regardless of how much effort I put into teaching that one, I am sure my students would still mispronounce it!

9. She Who Has Conceived. I am quoting here from a cover letter I read not too long ago: “Dear Sir or Madam, As I have conceived a project to leave for England, …” Ouch.

8. The three people in STAPS who clearly paid no attention. Listening comprehension on the final exam: “This is a running event. It was inspired by a Greek legend. The contestants run for more than 42 km”. Answer: Sprint.

7. The word “promise”. Seriously. If I heard one more promais, I think I would shoot myself. I can’t believe that all of License 2 walked unscathed after they debauched this simple, everyday word! I have composed a short poem for the occasion (Neli ft Robert Frost)

Some say the world will end in fire,

Some say in ice

I say your grade’s fate is dire

As soon as you tell me “promais”.

6. Jonathan (happy) upon guessing where the wine came from (Noz, a Big Lots equivalent where we frequently shop) – “C’est d’chez nous, ca!”

5. The Byblos guy. Now Byblos is this great Lebanese restaurant on Rue St Malo, and the owner is super nice. We went there with the other lecturers to celebrate the end of the term. It went something like that: “Le houmus, le tabouli, la kefta … et ca va venir encoooor”. Stuffed grape leaves, anyone? “There’s more where that came from”. I thought so!

4. The one who wants to make sure everything is OK. This one is the doctor my flat mate Noah shadows at Pontchaillou, the local hospital. The guy is apparently quite fluent in English, and always makes a point of asking Noah whether he understood everything that’s been going on (exchanges are always in French and Noah is not fluent). How does he make sure they are on “the same page”? “Was that good for you?”. How do you even keep a straight face here? Said polite and considerate question is asked many times in the course of the visit!

3. Final Exam, Art History. “Discuss the importance of the Campbell Soup Cans for the development of Andy Warhol’s artistic philosophy” : “Now the one thing which we can state about Warhol is that he was a gay. And together with this he had cans. And the cans were in his philosophy, and with a large importance”. You’re not sayin’!

2. The “proposer”. You know, the guy who is super nice and wants to have a coffee with the Lecteur? Oh, there аre quite a few of those, and they brighten up our lives so! But regardless of how many times you tell them that “propose” is usually done on one knee, ring in hand, they will still “propose a beer”. God bless ‘em, anyway, bad English and all.

1. I haven’t picked the top contender yet. Second semester, here we come!

Einstein document, Art History Final Exam

2009-12-25T14:00:00.000-08:00

One of the five images which Art History students had to describe for their final exam. Here is a quote from some of the most memorable paragraphs. Really makes you see things in a different, unexpected light:

His hair leaves in all directions. He has the eyes very open. And his tong is no more in his mouth.

Presentation Etiquette - The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

2009-12-19T06:16:00.000-08:00

The Good ...

... sign up for as early a time slot as possible. They show that they take the assignment seriously and that they are willing and eager. Of course, the teacher is less likely to grade them harshly because they appreciate their bravery and seriousness.
... come up with a well-thought out, organized project which demonstrates they have done a bit more than the bare minimum. Teachers can always tell the difference. A handout distributed to the class does wonders. So do a few well-chosen images (photos, paintings etc). You don't need the BNF to come up with those, and five minutes spent online could make all the difference.
... practice delivering their presentation. Seriously. Even once makes a difference.
... do not read the whole thing from an internet printout! They make bullet-style notes, and look up every once in a while while engaging their audience.

The Bad ...

... do the bare minimum. They go to the first website, print something out and attempt to read it to the class, often without any prior preparation. The result is a boring, monotonous struggle with boring monotonous facts which even I don't have the mental fortitude to follow.
... are a poor audience. The generally do not listen to the other "bads" presenting and do even worse.
... are not ready on the day they have signed up for, and give you some flimsy excuse and have to reschedule.
... pronounce every word off their Wikipedia printout as though it were a French word.
... forget either the lyrics or the song on the day they are meant to present.

The Ugly ...

... show up and tell you the lyrics are on their flash drive but they did not get a chance to print them out thirty seconds before class. When you sigh and go to your office to print stuff out (when that person has had six weeks to tell you what to print out), they inform you they can't go today because they also forgot the text of their presentation at home.
... do not show up on October 11th, day they were meant to present on. You don't see them or hear from them until December 9th. Without so much as an excuse, they show up and proceed to present after everyone else is done. At which point you don't even bother telling them their presentation would not count towards the final grade, of course.
... speak in French while everyone is presenting.
... don't bother presenting even if it's the last day of classes and they know they won't get another chance.
... hide their face while speaking

And as a general rule: I know speaking in front of people can be stressful in ANY language. Yet part of growing up and becoming an adult means learning how to deal with stress on a daily basis. Start here!

On Favorite Song Music Presentations

2009-12-19T05:58:00.000-08:00

Now here is a project which I never thought would backfire! Mind the past tense, please. I asked my first years (most of whom act as though they have taken some sort of bizarre vow to never, ever, under any circumstances, utter a word in class - conversation class, nonetheless) to pick a song they like (in English), play it for the class, distribute the lyrics and say what it talks about. I mean, wouldn't you want to do that? How hard can it be, really? To say nothing of the fact that I volunteered my laptop, so that they would not have to worry about playing it. AND volunteered to print out the lyrics and make copies so as to spare them the 1-2 Euro they would have paid for printing charges!

Boy, was I up for a rude awakening. Working the sign-up sheet proved a challenge. I have three groups and henceforth three columns - only Group 1 could figure out they needed to sign up in just one column. The remaining two groups were scattered in BOTH columns so I had to color-code it. You think that helped? Think again. I am not even going to comment on the people who signed up to present Oct 12 at the beginning of November. "If I could tuuurn back tiiime"? AAARGH! Follow my presentation comments please, guys, because there will be a lot more presenting in Semester 2!

Lunch Time Scheduling Troubles

2009-12-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

The one thing which I learned this year - don't you ever dare suggest that French students be deprived of their lunch! They consider "not having enough time to eat lunch" a legitimate excuse not to attend class! Also, do not even dream of keeping them longer to where said lunch break is jeopardized. They will be pointing to their wrist watches with a gesture which leaves no doubt as to the inappropriateness of your behavior.

The first time I had two Art History students actually walk up to me and tell me, completely seriously, about how they have to switch sections because of said Lunch Conflict, I thought it was a freak accident of sorts. Oh no. It has happened several times since, and every time I am very entertained. (Three times a week I, too, go without eating lunch till 2:30 pm and never even think about complaining!) But so that we have this in writing once and for all: "Not having enough time to eat lunch" is NOT an academic excuse in my book. Babies need to be fed at regular intervals. Adults do not. This excuse is, therefore, not valid.

Moreover, dear students, what are you thinking anyway? Most teachers would like to believe that their classes are so interesting and appreciated that people would forgo food, water and sleep just to be there! Don't burst our bubble! Just eat a bigger breakfast and get a kebab after classes!

Never thought I'd be doing this ...

2009-12-18T03:44:00.000-08:00

... but it occurred to me that a place on the internet where I could share my experiences and expectations while teaching at Rennes University would be beneficial for my students. There seems to be less opportunity for communication than I would have hoped for, and as a result, this past semester has proven a bit disappointing (especially RE the first-year students) So - hopefully - this would be a space in which questions are asked and answered!